22 January
‘Looks like the flat is definitely going ahead. I’m hoping I will be in there mid February. Very excited about that! Come to London! I need a lodger. The flat is gorgeous and I have two bathrooms. You can sign on the dole and get it paid for. Bingo! Having said that, if I get a short term tenant then I will go I travelling again too. That’s funny you would like to go to India again. Mina is back there now. V jealous. x’
21 January
I’m at Jessica’s leaving/engagement/30th birthday party at The Loft in Clapham.
Tears keep welling up when I talk to her. I’m going to miss her so much.
I invited my friend from work along too. A gorgeous black girl. I gave her the heads up that one of the guys there likes black girls.
As the night goes on she gets drunker and drunker, throwing herself at him. He noticed her when she got here and I knew he was tapping Jessica for the lowdown. He’s not interested now. I can tell. The harder she tries the further he is repelled. God, it’s so simple. She reminds me of me five years ago.
On the way home I tell her what Jessica had said.
He’ll fuck her but he really likes a French girl. He’s seeing another one as well. Naughty.’
‘I want his email address.’
‘Why?’
‘Because we got on.’
‘Just leave it. You’re better off out. You’ll get your fingers burned.’
‘Well, tell your sister if he wants to see me again… I’m interested.’
16 January
‘God, it’s all so weird. Everyones leaving… my cousins just headed out to Brazil, says that its 38 degrees out there. Lucky bugger.
Shame to hear that you don’t liek your job – worst thing having to do something that you don’t enjoy – surely life’s not about that? I had a fairly chilled Xmas and NY, which funnily enough was nice. But your impromptu NY evening sounds great – they are always the best nights! Mum and dad’s flat is ready, they are in the process of furnishing it now. I’ve just been bumming around, moving from place to place so as not to outstay my welcome – also tend to get a little bored of one place after a while. Getting itchy feet again – need to leave Lisbon. Not sure if i should head back to the Algarve, London, Liverpool or even back out to India??? Will try to make a decision towards the end of the month (going to hand around for my sister’s birthday).
Anyhow, good to hear from you. you take care
Victor x’
14 January (part 2)
‘Oh God, I would LOVE to go back to India. I think I will be going through with my sale and flat purchase soon. Once that is sorted I can think about next steps. I absolutely hate my current job and have been interviewing for other roles. I just need to be employment at least until I settle into the new place. Then I can think about renting it out if I want. I had quite a quiet Christmas and a very, very fun NYE. Went to this Champagne bar near me. It was just going to be a few drinks and then home – so I don’t completely turn into a pumpkin. But it ended up being probably the best NYE I’ve had! How are you? What have you been up to? What’s going on with your mum and dad? My sister is moving to Australia with her boyfriend at the end of January. He just proposed to her. I was even thinking about going over there. So many friends and relatives have moved out there. x’
Oh yes. I forgot to say. Jessica is getting married and moving to Australia! I’m so happy for her (getting married) but DO NOT want her to go. Jessica, are you reading this….?
14 January (part 1)
‘Hey, how are you? Did you have a good Xmas and NY? Hope so. So what’s the plan for the next few months? Another trip to India maybe?’
Victor! Haven’t heard from him in a while…
13 January
‘Rebecca,Lovely to see You.You looked Fantastic Please let’s get together couple times more than just birthdays this year…… Love you Rebecca Kramer x’
10 January
‘How are you doing ? You were going to call back’
7 January
Patrick is over for his annual work trip. I meet him and his friend at the Coat & Badger in Putney. It’s always good to see him. As usual he is drinking loads, telling funny stories and flirting with me.
I ask him about his girlfriend. This is the first time I have broached the subject.
‘She is working now. She has to… to stay in the country. When we get married it won’t matter.’
Aha. Marry me! Marry me!
His weird, scanky, skinny IT mate is as attentive as ever. He says his ‘fiance’ is coming later. Fiance? Her name is Jessica so I really want to know what she looks like. With a name like that she has to be hot, right?
A fat, short, pikey arrives. Yep. It’s Jessica. They make a good couple. And he was trying to crack on to me. I always find these scenarios hilarious. While girls primp and preen, gym and diet needing to feel good enough, men think we’re all game.
Jessica has just seen Tinker Tailor at the BFI.
‘I saw that a few weeks ago,’ I say. ’I had no idea what was going on.’
‘I can imagine you coming out at the end..,’ Patrick says. ’Saying “what the fuck was that all about?”‘
I smile.
‘You haven’t changed. That’s what I love about you.’
5 January
‘Hello.’
‘Hello.’
‘How are you?’
‘Good. How are you?’
‘Can you talk?’
‘Yeah… for a bit. I’m at work.’
‘How have you been?’
‘Well. India was great…’.
‘What job is this that let’s you go away for a year?’
‘I do contract work.’
‘Oh…’.
‘Did you have a good new year?’
‘Yes… I went to The Box.’
‘Goodness! That must have been amazing! I’d love to…’.
‘Yes I was invited.’
‘Wow!’
‘I can tell you can’t talk… at… Call me when you have a moment.’
‘Ok… Bye.’
‘Bye.’
Guess who.
3 January
‘Hi, back in town give me a call when you can’
I wonder if this another of his round robins?!
About
‘When I grow up I’m going to marry a prince, Granny.’
Fast forward 27 years. I’m a hot, successful, kind and affectionate, officially ‘grown up’ girl-about-town. Still in search of The One. It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m in bed. Alone. Tanked up on Valium.
The quest has been active now for the best part of 20 years. I know he’s out there. I just need to find out where and how to find him. Things have got to change.
This is going to be my year. I just know it. So I have decided to document my experiences to amuse more than anything else. In so doing, the creative process may provide some kind of personal enlightenment and help face my demons too. And who knows. The journey may lead me to my prince. And where the chronicles begin.
