17 January
I meet Ricky and Jo at the V&A. We go for a coffee downstairs and then up to the Decode Digital Designs exhibition. Very cool. ’My God-daughter’ loves it. Hee hee. Love saying things like that. But, oh, to be a mother…
I give them an update on my dating life. They love it. Marrieds (or rather ‘committeds’) love it.
I tell Ricky about the text from The Entrepreneur. He laughs.
‘He waited a year?!’
I laugh. It’s funny!
‘What do you think?’ I ask.
‘He’s still thinking about you,’ Ricky says.
‘Whatever he went for last year didn’t work out,’ Jo says. I hadn’t thought of that. Spelling it out, of course she means a girl. I think.
I tell them about my date with The Possible One.
‘I never heard from him again,’ I say.
‘What? After he messed up the queue jump?’
Exactly! It was his fault. Thanks Ricky. Good to get that kind of reaction… from a boy.
I tell them about the date that wasn’t last night.
‘Married,’ Ricky says.
‘Oh my God! That hadn’t crossed my mind!’ I say.
‘Some people have to go to Spain on business at the last minute…but not many,’ he goes on. ’And you get your date involved if you have to pop out to see friends with keys.’
‘I thought that,’ Jo says. ’When you first said that.’
Jeepers. As we finish our coffee a text comes in.
‘Oh God. It’s from him!’
‘What does it say?’ they ask in unison.
‘And guess what – they didn’t get here until almost 12. So I didn’t even have to mention it. Doh,’ I say reading it out.
‘Oh, so now he thinks he can get pally and he doesn’t know you,’ Jo says.
‘Hmm.’
‘What are you going to say?’
‘Nothing,’ I answer. They laugh.
Jo then asks me if I liked her cousin. The one we met at her birthday.
‘He was nice. Funny.’
‘He met a girl at the party.’ I can’t believe it. He met a girl at her party! Hilarious. They had been building up our meeting and he goes off with another girl straight after it finally happens. Ah well.
‘He doesn’t know what he wants,’ Ricky says. I know exactly what he’s getting it. Ricky, my angel, knows the guy isn’t good enough. No, Jo, I’m not going to give him a chance. I’m better than that. Mind you, I’m interested to see how everything pans out and how he behaves during our forthcoming God Parenting sessions at the Christening and the like.
We go round the exhibition. It’s amazing. Then, on the way to their car, pop into The Conran shop. As Jo and I sit down trying out one of the sofas, she brings up the Sean subject.
‘I just want a bit of… you know sometimes you don’t see people as much,’ I say. She know what I mean.
‘Do you think he’s a bit in love with you?’ she asks.
‘Yes.’
‘Yes.’
‘I find it annoying he speaks for me!’
‘He is protective.’
‘I’m not his girlfriend. I’m not his wife. And he gets it wrong!’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It drives me mad. When we went to The Big Chill he told you guys I wanted Coke. I didn’t.’
‘Oh, we thought…’.
‘I would have much preferred mdma.’
‘Yeah, when we went to the Imax he was saying ‘No Rebecca wouldn’t want…’.
‘What?’
‘Oh, nothing.’
I think he was talking about food. Kind of right. But I don’t want anyone speaking for me. Specially not fucking him!
As I say my goodbyes I remember I haven’t congratulated them on their engagement in person.
‘Oh my God and you two are getting married! Congratulations!’ I give them a hug. ’Have you got a ring?’
‘Yes,’ Jo says. In what can only be a kind of indignant voice. Ricky looks awkward.
‘We have an issue,’ he says.
‘Haven’t you seen it?’ she asks.
‘No! Let’s see.’
She shows me.
‘It’s… lovely!’
‘Where the diamond!’ she says. It is small. Very small. I look at Ricky.
‘It’s a tiddler,’ he says.
I’d be pissed off. Aren’t men supposed to want to buy the biggest rock they can afford to reflect how much they think their woman is worth? Is this why I’m single?
No. It’s a tiddler.
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‘When I grow up I’m going to marry a prince, Granny.’
Fast forward 27 years. I’m a hot, successful, kind and affectionate, officially ‘grown up’ girl-about-town. Still in search of The One. It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m in bed. Alone. Tanked up on Valium.
The quest has been active now for the best part of 20 years. I know he’s out there. I just need to find out where and how to find him. Things have got to change.
This is going to be my year. I just know it. So I have decided to document my experiences to amuse more than anything else. In so doing, the creative process may provide some kind of personal enlightenment and help face my demons too. And who knows. The journey may lead me to my prince. And where the chronicles begin.
