Chronicles of a Serial Dater

5 August (part 2)

I meet him at his place.  I get butterflies all the way there.  A good sign.  The last time this happened was with The Greek though so I’d best watch out.

The flat is a little less tidy.  Still very clean.  Just random coins, paperwork, cards and trainers scattered about.  Not the ‘show home’ I was originally privvy to.  Hee hee.  Jessica is right when she said they tidy up even if there is only a 1% chance you will go back there.  As he did on our second date.  He must now feel comfortable with me.  Or just doesn’t need to impress any more.  Ooh.

We go on for dinner.  Everything is back on track.  We are loving towards each other as if the dumping episode didn’t take place. 

I tell him I’m going to The Big Chill festival at the weekend.  He’s going to a charity football corporate event but is free on Friday or Sunday and wants to see me.  I like him.  I’m pretty sure he likes me.

‘I’m not drinking… no caffeine,’ I tell him as we order drinks.

‘Are you still on no carbs.’

‘Yes.’

‘Just in the evening though.’

‘Yes.  I’m doing low GI.’

‘What is the benefit?’

I’m not entirely sure.  ‘It balances your blood sugar so there are no ups and downs in your energy… no cravings.’

‘Do you binge?’  Where the f*** did that come from?

‘My trainer advocates it.  Did you know that watermelon is high GI?’

‘I get that.  Full of sugar.’

‘An almond croissant is low.’

‘No way!’

I order the tuna nicoise.  He has chicken and chips.

‘That’s why I have a stomach,’ he says.  He doesn’t.

‘Did your mum say you’ve lost weight?’  I ask.  His mum, apparently, always wants to feed him up.

‘Not this time.  It’s either “You need to cut out the fried breakfasts” or “You’ve lost weight”‘.

‘Exactly the same in my family.  My mum wants me to put on weight.’

‘Why?’  I just knew it.  Men do like thin girls.

I tell him I’m going to the doctor’s tomorrow for tests.  I’m convinced I have a terminal illness.

‘Let me know how it goes.’

On the way home we pick up a DVD.

‘I saw The Hangover,’ I tell him.

‘What did you think?’

‘It was brilliant.’

‘I saw Bruno.’

‘Yeah.  With me.’

Is he seeing other girls?  Or is this just man memory in play?

We watch the DVD in bed.  Are we… a couple?

We have lovely sex.  I’ve got him all wrong.  He’s not selfish at all.

‘You’re wearing me out.  Did I get anywhere near your spot?’

‘Yes.’

‘God, I’m so unfit.’

Right!  That’s what this has all been about.  He has been trying to satisfy me after all and is exasperated.  With himself.  I think we have even more in common than I originally thought.

He cuddles me all night.  He has a lovely body.  I feel comfortable and safe.

I’m glad I gave him a chance.  Blaming me for being hot in bed, not telling him if he’s nearly hitting the spot.  Thinking he is overweight and unfit.  He doesn’t think he is up to scratch.  With my Cognitive Behavioural Therapist we ascertain my rule is if I am straightforward he will have the upper hand and be able to manipulate me.  The alternative is we will both know where we stand.  Let’s go for this option.

August 16, 2009 - Posted by rebeccafox | The dates | Amuse Bouche, Boheme, Carluccio’s, CBT, Chronicles of A Serial Dater, Clapham, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Commitment Phobia, Dating, Dating advice, Dating blog, Dating Direct, Dim t, Fear of commitment, Food For Thought, Ghillies, Girl about town, Hakkasan, Internet dating, Jew, Jewish, Jewish dating, Kiss and Run, Love, Mamounia, Mao Tai, Match.com, Medina, Mysinglefriend, Piccolino’s, Pop culture, Relationships, Searching for Mr Right, Searching for The One, Serial dater, Sex, Sex And The City, Sophie’s Steakhouse, Soulmate, The Oxo Tower, The White Horse, voicemail